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Thank you for your submission to "Ask JMC"; we really welcome your comments
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In the meantime, I wish you nothing but the best in all your endeavors.
Regards,
Jane-Michèle
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| Ask again... |
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| You Asked: |
What are some good ways to make changes that stick?
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| Our Thoughts: |
Start small. Be patient. Reward the changed behavior as well as the results. Too often people try to make wholesale changes in every aspect of their lives – and then get discouraged because they can’t do it all and, feeling like they’ve failed, give up. Instead, make a plan and decide what you want the various aspects of your life (career, personal, social, fitness, financial, etc.) to look like a year from now. Then work out what improvements are needed in each area and pick one thing to focus on from each.
Make sure to choose items that can be reasonably changed. For instance, if you habitually miss deadlines, get to work late, keep friends waiting in restaurants, pay bills past their due date and otherwise mess up in the time department, it may seem daunting to commit to being punctual in every facet of your life all at once. Start small. Choose ONE behavioral change you can implement, and commit to making the change over the next month. For instance, you could commit to arriving at work at least 10 minutes before the official start time.
It takes 21 days to change habit – and about a month for the change to become ingrained enough that the new behavior is reflexive (i.e. that you automatically do things the new ways, without having to really think about it). By only changing one thing in each area of your life, you minimize the likelihood that your mind will rebel and try to sabotage your efforts, so resist the urge to add new changes before the second month.
As the month draws to a close, review your progress. Celebrate your successes and make sure to reward yourself for the changed behaviors. Then choose something new in each area of your life to work on in the month to come. By introducing changes slowly, and recognizing your own efforts, you are far more likely to create lasting change than by trying to do it all at once.
“If you do not change your beliefs your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?” ~ Anon
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| Outside Opinion: |
Change starts in your mind, but you are much more than your mind. You may think that your mind is running the show, but that is only because you have trained your mind to think in this way. You can also untrain and retrain this tool of yours.
Your mind is a tool for you to use in any way you wish. The way you now use your mind is only a habit, and habits, any habits, can be changed if we want to do so, or even if we only know it is possible to do so.
Quiet the chatter of your mind for a moment, and really think about this concept: Your mind is a tool you can choose to use any way you wish
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